Letter to Alex

Dear Balooga,

Today you are 9 months old! I still cant fully believe how quickly time has gone in the last months. It feels like just yesterday I couldn't wait for 9 months to go by so that I could finally hold you and see your sweet face, it felt like an eternity. The last 9 months have gone in a blink of an eye. Today was full of mixed emotions for me. On one hand I am sad to see that my little baby bear is growing up so fast, part of me wants to keep you a little baby forever. On the other hand, I am so excited to see you grow and develop as the days go on. You are sooo smart and I know you are just beginning to discover the world around you.

Its safe to say that you captured my heart from the moment I knew you were growing in my belly. I remember being so anxious for September to come so I could finally hold you. When I did finally get to hold you I was hooked. You have been such a blessing to your daddy an me. I'm not going to lie, at first I was worried that I had gotten myself into more than I could handle but that only lasted a few days. I can't imagine my life without you anymore. I look forward to seeing you open your eyes in the morning and flash that gorgeous smile at me that says "Good morning momma, I'm ready to start exploring!" I love snuggling with you at night when its time for you to go nite nite, most times I lay down next to you and rub your back or pat your tooshy and brush your hair with my hand. I talk to you about my day and ask you about yours and sometimes I sing you songs that I make up as I go. My favorite is Its amazing how you have just enveloped my life.

In nine short months you have already learned to say "agua" and "dadda". You are sitting up all by yourself and can get yourself to sit up from being on your back. Just last week you started pulling yourself up to standing in your play pen and now you pull yourself up on the sofas and cruise around them. You can't wait to start walking on your own, I can tell from the frustration on your face when you have to grab on to my fingers to start walking. You've completely mastered the use of your walker, so much so that you look bored when you are in it now but you do love terrorizing Roxy and Rocco with it.

You are eating in your "big boy" high chair now, and boy do you love to eat! I've been hesitant to introduce new food to you from the beginning but your Grammie is making sure that you taste whatever she is making in the kitchen. You like rice, chicken soup, veggies: carrots, green beans, broccoli (remember this when you are older and refuse to eat them), you enjoy munching on crackers and cheerios. I had the idea to start singing Happy Birthday to you and asking you to blow candles so that when you heard it during your birthday party you wouldn't freak out and now all you do is try to blow things out. You blow at every candle you see and every light you pass trying to turn them off, its absolutely adorable!

And the dancing! Oh the dancing!!! its too cute for words! Every time that you hear a song with a catchy tune you start bouncing up and down and bobbing your head; some of your favorite songs at the moment are: Soul Sister by Train, anything by the Black Eyed Peas, and the katie perry song California Girls. This past weekend was Memorial Day Weekend and keeping with tradition the family went to the beach. This was your first visit to the beach and the look on your face! the look on your face was priceless! As soon as you saw the ocean you started screaming "agua! agua! agua!" and pulling us toward the water. You got the put your feet in the water for only a bit because the water was so cold. Later that day we came home and you got in the pool for the first time. You've been eyeing that pool for a good while now so the fact that we put you in made you sooo happy! It too was cold but that didnt stop you from enjoying it. You are definitely a water baby.

I am so proud to be your mommy Alex. So proud and so blessed. I can't wait to see what life has in store for you sweetie. Just remember that your momma loves you more than words, more than the number of stars in the sky, more than life itself and you'll always be my Balooga Bear.

Reflecting on what really matters

Today was the funeral for a co-worker's 12 year old. He had been battling Leukemia on and off for the last 2 years. It was one of those bitter-sweet events where you knew you should be sad that he is no longer here with his parents but at the same time you are happy that he is no longer suffering. This little boy was born with Down Syndrome and had gone through six major surgeries by the time he was six months old. The inspiring thing is that his parents still felt lucky that he had picked them to be his parents. They cherished every day that he was with them and celebrated all of his accomplishments. They are amazing parents and a blessing to everyone that knows them. They painted a picture of a little boy who despite his young age knew to live life to the fullest and without fear.

Sitting there during the service I couldn't help but cry. I cried because I could only imagine the pain that his family was feeling, I cried because a parent should never have to bury their child, and I cried because I was so thankful that I have been given the opportunity to have a child of my own.

It put so many things into perspective and made me realize that all too often I focus on things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. It reminded me that I am blessed to have a Little Man that wakes me up several times in the middle of the night, the same Little Man who wants to play even though all I feel like doing is taking a nap; I am blessed because I have him. I get to stare at him while he is sleeping next to me, I get to see him when he wakes up first thing in the morning and gives me that smile, the smile that always melts my heart. I get to spend time playing with him, singing with him and yes, trying to soothe him when he is cranky. I also realized that life is too short and valuable to not "stop and smell the roses". I need to focus on enjoying the time that I have with my loved ones right now rather than putting it off for the sake of having that time in the future. After all, only God knows how long we will have to spend with those we love. We all need to stop taking ourselves so seriously and just let loose; sing like nobody is listening, dance like nobody is watching, and love like there is no tomorrow.

Little did that little boy the impact that he would have on so many people, people he knew and loved and people he never got to meet.

God Bless you little one, thank you for the impact you made in all of our lives and keep an eye out for those of us that are still down here will ya?

Oh Saturdays how I love Thee!

Who doesn't love sleeping in on Saturday mornings and catching up on that much needed rest? I only wish I could remember the last time I was actually able to sleep in! The truth of the matter is that I have not had a full night's sleep for 4 months and 12 days (but whose counting?). There are mornings where I wake up feeling like a wreck after waking up 5-6 times during the night to a squeemish baby who then decides that 5am is a good time to start babbling at the top of his lungs so mommy can play with him but Saturdays are different. Yes, Alex woke up about 5 times last night, and yes, he woke up at 5 this morning, but I didn't mind it. I got up at 5 to change his poopy diaper while the hubbie and pups snored their heads off and you know what? I was smiling the whole time! No, I haven't lost my marbles. I was smiling because laying there in front of me was the biggest gift that God has given me, MY son, smiling back at ME, babbling and blowing bubbles at ME. So after spending a few prescious minutes chatting with my little man I turned the lights off, gave him a kiss and told him it was still time for 'night night'. He protested for a few minutes and held my index finger in his hand, tugging at it with his new-found grip. He fell back to sleep with my finger wrapped tightly in his little pudgy hand and all I could think was THANK YOU LORD for allowing me to wake up and change his poopy diaper and allowing me to spend some one on one time with him.